Monday, August 24, 2009
You can't go home again?
The Thomas Wolfe quote "you can't go home again" has been used so much that it has been a cliche. But yet it sums up my somewhat ambivalent feelings about returning to the USA after two and a half years.
Don't get me wrong. I'm very excited about coming back to see my family and friends. However a lot has happened since I left and I fear the reality of the losses that have occured setting in.
My uncle's wife, Aunt Flo, and my good friend Ann Uttech both have died since I left. I know coming home there will be a big void and I will miss their presence very much. Aunt Flo was always very kind to me when I visited my uncle, greeting me with a warm smile and delicious food. She was a very compassionate person and very supportive of my dream of going to Vietnam. I know everyone in my family misses her deeply.
Ann Uttech was a prime mover in getting me back into poetry. She helped me turn my life around and see that dreams could have substance if you honor your heart and put some muscle and work into your goals. Ann helped me reawaken my creativity and find my voice. And finding and honoring my voice, being able to express myself through poetry and writing, this literally saved my life.
I will miss them both and grieve their loss. However, I have a lot of people to return to. I'm very excited to see the many family and friends I left so long ago. I'm also thrilled about being reunited with my writing group--the women who have continued to encourage me to develop my voice and who were with me during some of my darkest days--including the death of my mother. I know that whatever souvenirs I bring to all my circle of loved ones, it will not be enough!
Which brings me back to the question "can you go home again?" I believe that maybe this is the wrong thing to ask. For home is not a physical place, however much we are tied by bonds of blood and memory. Home is not even, to quote another cliche, where "the heart is."
Instead, we carry our home with us. The heart is where home is.
Labels: Viet Nam and the West
Monday, August 10, 2009
Agent Orange Day
First I saw a thin white veil
dropping from the sky
a smell
like guava
the white covered me
and I
could no longer see the forest
the fish rose up
to the top of the water
no longer
fish
the plants dried out
and were
no longer
there
I came home and this white cloud
this death
followed me
and my children
and my grandchildren
I no longer wish
for a future
what's left for tomorrow?
--Operation Ranch Hand
A poem dedicated to those afflicted with Agent Orange
Today was Agent Orange Day in Vietnam, a day set aside to remember the victims of the defoliant used during the Vietnam War. The chemical has effected thousands of people in Vietnam, causing severe health problems for those exposed and birth defects in their children and descendants. It has also effected many American and other vets who fought in Vietnam.
The center that I work at Lang Hoa Binh, works with those effected by Agent Orange as well as children with other disabilities. It is heartbreaking to see those effected by this terrible weapon.
Today at Peace Village we had some special activities to mark the occasion.The children were given some snacks and the classrooms were decorated by orange balloons, donated by a Korean insurance company. I had a special guest as well, my house mate Chris came out for a visit. The children love vistors and Chris was no exception. We all enjoyed forming Vietnamese words with the scrabble set and the kids, as usual were great teachers as well as students.
For further information on Agent Orange, you can look at these websites:
Orange carers has visited Lang Hoa Binh!
Labels: Agent Orange, environment, Viet Nam War, Vietnamese history
Sunday, August 02, 2009
Teacher becomes student
Today's lesson: you're never too old to become a student. I became a student of Mai Huong today. She's a young woman with a learning disability that I normally teach English and math.
When I came to class today she was making a friendship bracelet. It was a perfect opportunity for role reversal. Sewing is something I just am not very good at--I don't have the patience. And sure enough, soon I had almost tied myself in knots trying to imitate what the kids were doing.
Huong Mai took control. She patiently showed me how to loop the multicolored string and how to make an overhand and underhand knot. By selecting different colors you can make all kinds of patterns (we were working on a diamond pattern). She said "teacher" so happy that she could teach me something. I said "teacher ret tot!" We went over the colors, repeating "red, yellow, white, orange, green."
I try to do this as often as I can with the students, give them an opportunity to teach me something. It is so important that they realize that they too can be teachers, that they have something wonderful to contribute. This is one of the main reasons I became a teacher, when I volunteered with these fantastic young people four years ago, I soon realized that I was learning more from them than I could teach!
This is the secret joy of teaching--the teacher learns from the students. Where else could I learn how to sew a rainbow and weave colors between my small fingers? By the end of the lesson, I had helped make a friendship bracelet!
